Give...Thanks
“Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a Wilderness Explorer in Tribe 54, Sweatlodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?” - Russell, as played by Jordan Nagai, Up
The time is upon us where millions and millions of people will sit down this Thursday and celebrate Thanksgiving. That got me thinking about the time-honored tradition of going around the table and saying what you are thankful for in your life. It’s a tradition that I have never really liked all that much. It’s not that I don’t think we should talk about what we are thankful for and take time to appreciate it. In fact, I think that doing that is actually really important.
The issue is that I find it to be super awkward sitting there trying to decide what to say while others do the same. To fix this issue, I’m not saying we should stop talking about what we are thankful for. In all honesty, I think the root problem is that we don’t do it enough. The fact is, we don’t spend enough time in our lives being thankful for the positive things happening for us.
Instead, we find ourselves dwelling on the negative aspects of our lives. And I am immensely guilty of this bad habit as much as anyone. Being stuck in that negative thinking not only leads us away from thankfulness but it also leads us towards bitterness.
Allow me to over-generalize for a moment. Ever notice that when you meet someone of an older generation, they may fall into one of two categories? Some of them smiling despite their problems and pain while the others are bitter and angry. Yes, I understand that there are more than two types of seniors in the world, but I have witnessed these two categories of people with great frequency.
I really believe that the circumstances over the course of these people’s lives, both good and bad, led those individuals to either grow into happy people, thankful for what good they have, or angry people who are bitter for the things in their life that didn’t go well. If that’s true than it means that every single one of us non-seniors may very well fall into one of those groups. Very likely, we are already trending in one of those directions.
So what do we do about that?
Of course, there’s the simple idea of trying to always look on the bright side of things in life. But that can be very difficult to do as we have already said. Still, I believe we should always be trying to stay as positive as possible no matter what our situation. I think there is a more powerful tactic that we can use to help train our brains to see the positive. We don’t need to just give thanks, we need to give… thanks.
By that I mean, we need to give back in gratitude for what we have been given. Not only that, we need to give back in an attempt to give others what we never had in life. It’s kind of like paying it forward but without the prerequisite of having something good happen to you first.
When we focus on showing love and helping those around us, it can really help to change our perspective. When you give money to a worthy cause and see the impact it has, or when you volunteer your time to help others and see with your own eyes the change you are helping to create— it also changes you.
When things get rough, it’s easy to forget that there is still good in the world. And let’s be honest, there’s been a whole lot of bad going on in the world as of late. But when you step out and do something for others, you are being the good in the world. You’re creating it yourself and others may very well notice that. Which in turn might make a change in someone else.
Here’s a silly example from my life that I haven’t told another soul, not even my wife. One time, over a decade ago, when I was about to walk over and wash my hands after using the restroom at work. A coworker had just finished washing drying their hands with paper towel. Before he threw it away, the used that same paper towel to pickup a bunch of scraps off the floor and throw them away. He then exited, without seeing me.
I thought about that for the rest of the day. It was a simple act but it was a kindness to those whose job it was to clean up the bathroom. The next time I was in the bathroom, I did the same thing. To this day, when I am in a bathroom and I see paper towels on the floor, I will still stop and throw them away. All because one time, I saw this guy do it.
Witnessing that one little act has changed me for over a decade. Every action has a ripple effect. Positive or negative, it still puts something out there in the world. How often do you give thanks? How often do you put your thanks into action?
It is important when taking care of others that we remember that we need to be taking care of ourselves. While you want to stretch yourself, it’s critical that you know your own limits and protect yourself.
This post ends with a challenge. This week I ask you to do something good for someone else. Donate money, volunteer time, stand up for someone, or be the ear that someone needs. Put some good in the world. You never know what the ripples might accomplish.
Happy Thanksgiving!
-Jason