The Power of "I Don't Know"
“This is the Navy, where the commanding officer is a mighty and terrible thing. A man to be feared and respected. Don't you dare say what you said to the boys back there again, 'I don't know.' Those three words will kill a crew, dead as a depth charge. You're the skipper now, and the skipper always knows what to do whether he does or not.” Chief Klough, as played by Harvey Keitel, U-571
While it pains me, I have to disagree with Harvey Keitel. True, his advice is probably pretty spot on for the military, especially in times of war. But it doesn’t work very well in the office. This may seem counterintuitive, as many people say they want a strong leader to help guide their lifelong journey. Yet despite what you might believe, a leader isn’t strong because they have all the answers. Sure, having all the answers may make a leader smart — but it doesn’t necessarily make them strong or capable for that matter. Of course, being a strong leader can mean a thousand different things. Maybe you stand up for your team, protecting when the situation demands it, or perhaps you’re always there to lend an ear when a team member is struggling. Whatever the case may be, strong leadership is essential to the success of a team and an organization.
Now, back to disagreeing with Mr. Keitel. I believe that being honest and admitting to your team, your friends, your family — and even yourself — that you don’t have all the answers is the epitome of strong leadership. It reveals a core value that allows others to trust and believe in you: vulnerability. That’s right, being vulnerable is one of the strongest things you can do as a leader because it shows that you are willing to meet your team at the table, flaws and all. When you are unsure what to do in a particular situation, admitting “I don’t know the answer” is the first step you can take towards letting your vulnerability show. That admission can also do something else very important — let your team know that it’s okay to not always have an answer. On the contrary, if you always “have the right answer,” then team members will likely follow one of two paths while working with you. They will either want your input for every single decision they make or they will believe that they must also always have the answer when it comes to questions about their job. There aren’t any upsides to either of those situations. In the first, you’ll find you have no time to be productive as a leader because you are too busy managing the day to day. In the second, you’ll find that under pressure, your team members may provide the wrong answers in favor of giving no answer. The same goes for you as the leader — because no one ever has all the right answers. Sure, it’s possible that you may often have good ideas, but it’s silly to think that any one person will always have the best answer for every situation.
Hopefully, at this point, you see why saying “I don’t know” can be a powerful tool in strong leadership — but I want to be clear that it doesn’t end with just saying those words. After all, you are the captain. The ship cannot just float about the ocean rudderless and expect to ever reach its destination. What follows those words is just as important. In my previous role as a leader, it wasn’t at all uncommon for my team and I to find ourselves in uncharted territory. Sometimes it was a new project, technology or simply any change that would challenge our skills in a new and unexpected way. In those situations, I used the phrase, “I don’t know…but we are going to figure it out.” And from there, we would get to work. Obviously, there is a lot heavy lifting to be done after that statement, but I was blessed with a team that was always ready to rise to the occasion. I credit that to creating an environment where it was okay to be vulnerable, throw out crazy ideas — and sometimes, fail and learn from those experiences. It was hard work for all of us — and likely will be for you and your team as well.
So here are some tips for how to move forward once you’ve said those three words:
Rely on Your Team: Many times they will have an answer or even just an idea that might lead to the answer. Ask them for their thoughts and feedback.
Brainstorm: Whether it’s just you, your team or using external sources, throw all ideas out there and see what sticks.
Revisit Your History: In some cases, you’ll find answers to current problems can be solved by simply looking back at similar situations you have faced in the past.
Ask the Experts: If your team doesn’t have the expertise to find the path forward, reach out others in your industry or do some research on new solutions that might be of use.
Clarify the Requirements: Sometimes sitting down with your customers, whether they be internal or external, and tightening up the requirements of a project can be very useful.
Ask Uninformed People: This one might seem like a bad idea and admittedly, it doesn’t always work. But explaining the project to people who know nothing about it can sometimes produce gold because it forces us to think differently about the situation as we seek to help them understand.
Take a Break: This may not always be an option, but when you have the time to put something down for an hour, a day or a week, it can help aide in giving you the clarity you need to find your answer.
Hopefully you found some of these ideas helpful and are ready to show strength and vulnerability by being honest and saying “I don’t know.” I cannot explain enough how it has changed my life and my leadership in the past several years.
-Jason