I'm Afraid of the Dark
“I’m not afraid of the dark.” -My 6 year old son
That’s right, you read the title correctly. I am an almost 40 year old man who is considered, at least by his small children, to be “super strong.” And I took several years of martial arts in high school. So there’s that. Yet, whenever I find myself walking up the stairs from my basement office after flicking off the lights before bed, I do so with much haste… because who knows what lurks in the dark behind me. It’s been that way since I was a kid. I always had to sleep with some sort of light on at night — and still do.
Maybe as you read this, you’re finding yourself a little bit embarrassed for me. I mean after all, who starts a new business telling people he can make them better leaders and then admits that he’s still harboring silly fears that he’s never outgrown from his childhood? But last week I told you it’s important to be vulnerable as a leader, and this is me leading by example.
My fear may be irrational, but if we’re being honest, then you likely have irrational fears as well. To be fair, if I break my fear down logically, it’s not actually the dark that scares me. It’s what could be in the dark. I know this because the darkness that gives me the heebie-jeebies the most is the woods at night. I’ve watched enough nature shows to know that there’s a lot of stuff out there in the dark that might try to eat me. I was also once almost mauled by a bear, though my wife tells the story very differently than I do.
But I digress, what really drives my fear of the dark is a fear that many of you also share… fear of the unknown. I think it’s safe to say that most of our fears in life are somehow entwined with the unknown.
This is problematic because as leaders we are constantly facing the unknown, being forced to make decisions with limited information. Decisions that not only impact ourselves, but our teams, and even our entire organizations. Frankly, that’s not an irrational fear to have in your role as a leader.
So how do we deal with that fear? We certainly don’t have the option of just freezing up or ignoring the issues, at least not if we want to be successful leaders who do the right thing. Here are some ideas that I use to move forward when I have limited information:
Be Logical: Do your best to fill in the information gaps that you are lacking. It’s easier than it may sound, as you usually have previous experience to draw upon. If that’s not the case, you can still think about logical options to fill in some missing information. This, in turn, will help you rule out some unlikely possibilities.
Play Worst Case Scenario: I’ll be honest, this one can be dangerous because it requires you to think about the worst thing that could happen if you make the wrong decision. However, many times we discover that the worst case scenario isn’t as bad as you may originally think. But if this does make you panic, refer back to Be Logical.
Think Socially: Ask yourself how another person related to the situation would approach this problem. I sometimes even picture myself in a meeting with a group of others who might be able to help in the situation and then let the conversation play out in my mind. This can help spark new ideas and play out various scenarios to avoid pitfalls.
Talk It Out: If you have access to sit down with others who can help with the situation, this can be one of the most effective ways to figure out how to move forward. I only put it so far down the list because as a leader, you aren’t always in a position to share information about some situations or problems with others.
Trust Your Gut: In the end, this tactic is the both the hardest to master yet also the most critical. As a leader, learning to go with your instincts is something that you must do. A simple way to get there is start forcing yourself to make predictions and decisions on the fly but keep them to yourself. Write them down and then start to track your accuracy. You may find that your intuition is better than you think it is.
If you try these options, you’ll likely find a couple of suggestions work well for you, while some others just don’t quite fit your style… and that’s okay. I’ve honestly used each one of these tactics with great success, but those I rely on most have evolved over time as I have become more comfortable with myself as a leader.
Looking ahead, I will explore some of the tactics listed above in their own posts, as there is so much more that can be said about each of them. In the meantime, I hope this helps you think a little more strategically about how you can move forward.
-Jason