Coaching? You Mean Like Little League?
“What I do have are a very particular set of skills.” - Bryan Mills, as played by Liam Neeson, Taken
I always joke that the single hardest thing about being a leadership coach is explaining to people what exactly it is that I do. The truth is that the title of this blog is taken from multiple conversations that I have had with others when I tell them that I am a leadership coach. It’s understandable that they are confused. After all, coaching is a profession that many people haven’t run into before.
For that reason, I’d like to spend this post de-mystifying what coaching is and giving you a few ideas of how you can use some coaching techniques with your team.
Admittedly, in a corporate setting, the term leadership coach is many times understood by those in management. Thousands of companies hire these coaches every year, including people like yours truly. Outside of that environment, many people who have heard of coaching have seen it as “life coaching.” Which unfortunately is a term that, in my opinion, sometimes can get a bad rap. That said, my favorite terminology to use outside of leadership coach is personal and professional development coach. Simply because that covers pretty much any kind of coaching that I would provide.
So for those of you reading this and are curious about what coaching is, here’s a primer:
The simplest explanation of coaching is a partnership between a coach and a client that is focused on achieving goals that are defined by the client. This really can encompass anything — and in my experience with the dozens of clients I have worked with, it really does run the gamut. The first thing that might pop into your head is “this guy can’t be an expert at all the things people might want to improve upon.” And that is 100% accurate. As a coach, I don’t need to be an expert in the subject matter that you work on. In all honesty, all I really need to do is be able to understand the general idea of what it is you do. That said, what I do need to fully grasp is where you are now and what you consider a measure of success for that improvement.
From there, I work with a client to figure out how I can best help them achieve their goals. This includes how they would like to be held accountable for their goals, how they will organize their plans, what tactics to use for success, and of course, being there for them when they find themselves stuck.
Clients being stuck while trying to advance their goals is one of the most common things that I see. It’s not that surprising when you think about it. As I have mentioned in previous articles, we constantly find ourselves hitting roadblocks and needing to strategize a path beyond.
Back to being an expert… What coaches are experts at is having a particulars set of skills, very much like the aforementioned Liam Neeson, except with less ninja moves and more guided thought. What the coach can do in many cases is use their sets of skills to help the client have realizations about where to go next on the journey of achieving their goals.
Another important value that coaches can provide is perspective. As unbiased third parties without direct involvement in the work of the person they are coaching, they can offer a unique perspective that the client may not have otherwise been able to see.
Obviously, being a coach takes a good deal of learning and practice around that set of skills. However, I think that any leader can use some coaching techniques to improve how they work with their teams. Here are some techniques that I would recommend trying out:
Be Present: To be fully engaged in a conversation requires that we give it our full attention by removing other distractions.
Be Curious: Be interested in what the person is telling you and ask them follow-up questions. It’s always safe to say “Interesting, tell me more…”
Be Non-Judgemental: If you want others to open up to you about themselves and their goals, then being free of judgements is a necessity.
Be An Active Listener: One trick to help you do this is to focus on what the person is saying instead of thinking of what you plan say next.
Be Reflective: Sometimes you notice the person saying something key to their goals and when you rephrase that information and say it back to them, it can help spark a realization.
Those are a handful of the many techniques that a leader can use when coaching their own employees. These tools also work very well in everyday conversation with family and friends.
Of course there is a lot more to coach than just the few skills I mentioned here. Hopefully, these thoughts will get you started and moving forward coaching your team. Through this blog, I will continue to cover additional coaching techniques. Until then, I hope this has been a great intro into what coaches do and how it can help you!
-Jason