It's Okay If People Think You Look Stupid
“I don’t care what Tannen says! And I don’t care what anyone else says either!” -Marty McFly, as played by Michael J Fox, Back to the Future: Part III
Last weekend I took my six year old son to a roller skating birthday party. I’ll be honest, roller skating parties are not my favorite kind of kid’s birthday party. While in the 90s I was a rocking roller skating kid every Sunday with my dad, I no longer possess the smooth moves I once did. In short, I constantly struggle not to fall on my butt.
My son on the other hand loves skating parties. This one worked out really well because they allowed you to rent these little walkers on wheels that help kids skate. Which of course meant that I was off the hook. In other words, everybody wins!
While standing on the sidelines of the roller rink watching my son slowly tiptoe around the big oval in the center of the rink, I noticed something else. In the very center of the rink there was a man I’m guessing is in his mid-sixties. He was wearing what would best be described as the top half of a mime outfit with a bright red stocking cap instead of a beret. He also wore normal blue jeans and bright red skates that seemed to be purposely coordinated with his hat.
This guy was tearing up the rink. Some pop song was blasting through the speakers and this guy was dancing his heart out. Dude knew how to moonwalk in skates like it was his job. He also did numerous other moves that I couldn’t readily identify but were still pretty impressive. Here’s the thing — he was the only one dancing. In fact, quite a few people were watching him dance not in awe but more in stunned confusion.
The onlookers faces expressed a look of “what the heck is this guy thinking?” or even “that guy looks like a weirdo.” I’ll admit that I was a bit confused at first too, but then I looked at the guy’s face and I saw it. His face held a smile of pure joy. He didn’t give a crap about what anyone else thought. He had found his joy and he was going to live that joy no matter what people thought.
And why shouldn’t he? It’s not like his wild roller skating dancing was hurting anyone. Even those who thought he looked crazy out there were still admittedly entertained. I think that guy was doing exactly what he needed to be doing to live the life that he wanted.
The sad fact is that many of us aren’t willing to do that. We so often get caught up in being afraid of looking stupid. I say to hell with that notion. Look stupid. Be weird. Live the life you are being called to live even if others don’t understand it.
This used to be a big struggle for me in my everyday life. So many people that I knew professionally and personally through places like work, school, church and other activities didn’t (and still don’t) understand that I am a grown man with a family who goes to conventions with the sole purpose of playing board games.
Several people would make jokes about it or put little digs in conversations about me being into kid stuff. It wasn’t until I started designing board games professionally that they started to understand. And to be honest, I believe that was only because at that point it was a job that paid money and they saw the benefit of that. Those feelings may have never deterred me from playing going games or going to conventions, but it did cause me to limit talking about it in general for a long time. Which was really dumb. Now I talk about it freely even if people don’t think it is cool.
Still there are other areas in my life where I find this problem. Just ask my wife — it’s the main reason I am afraid to dance at weddings. I’m terrible at it — again, just ask my wife. But it shouldn’t matter because it’s something that I enjoy doing with her.
Are there things in your life that you find yourself afraid to do because you don’t want to look silly or stupid or whatever? If so, ask yourself, what is the worst that could happen? Honestly, the worst thing that you will probably do is embarrass yourself — and bruised egos can heal super fast if we let them. You’ll find the more often you bruise your ego, the less it will bother you the next time.
So here’s to you, Mr. Half Mime Dressed Roller Skating Dance Champion. You gave me a great reminder about finding my joy and living it even if others think I am crazy. I hope his story inspires all of you as well.
-Jason