No One is More You than You
“You are the most talented, most interesting, and most extraordinary person in the universe. And you are capable of amazing things. Because you are the Special. And so am I. And so is everyone." Emmet, as played by Chris Pratt, The Lego Movie
I’ve been actively designing board games for about seven years now. I have five games either already in print or signed with a publisher. Considering it took me a couple years to really get up and running as a productive designer, I feel pretty good about that achievement. In fact, I feel really positive about the future and I expect in the next couple years, I will more than double that number of games that I have published.
Now let me tell you about this guy I know, Jon Gilmour… He’s a board game designer who has been designing games for about eight years now. Between games signed with a publisher and games already in print, he has twenty-six games and in the next couple years will likely more than double that number.
To make things even better, Jon continually spends his time giving back and helping others become more successful in the industry. He’s starting a mentor program to help a new designer learn the ropes and grow in the industry. He’s also a constant advocate for women and people of color in the gaming industry.
What. A. Jerk.
Only kidding.
Jon and I are actually friends who both grew up in the industry at the same time. Sure, he’s seen a heck of a lot more success than me but he’s still someone I am proud to call a friend.
In the past, that would not have always been the case. For many years in my life, I spent a lot of time being disheartened by the success of others. When any of my friends or co-workers would find success, my first thoughts weren’t congratulatory— they were filled with jealously.
I would constantly ask myself, why couldn’t I see the same success as them?
Generally, I answered that question with the belief that I just wasn’t as good as they were. Whatever the endeavor, they must have had more raw talent or more dedication than I did. I let those beliefs get me down. Worse yet, in some cases, I even let them justify abandoning my dreams.
Here’s the fact. Both of my beliefs about why others were succeeding instead of me were true. For instance, my friend Jon Gilmour has more raw talent and has put in a lot more hours than I have in game design. But that doesn’t mean that I should give up on game design. Why abandon my dream because someone else is better than me?
It’s not a race. It’s not any sort of competition. We are different people who will see different levels of success in different ways throughout our lives. It’s a simple as that.
I’ll be honest here and say that yes, I certainly wish I had twenty-six games under my belt and maybe just maybe, I am a little jealous of his success. And I think that IS okay. I believe that is human nature.
What’s not okay is to be so jealous of someone else’s success that you wish failure for them. Not only is that a crappy way to feel about others, it’s also a great way to kill your own motivation. But if I am being honest, that’s where I used to be many years ago in my former career. And it completely derailed any chance I had for success. It wasn’t until I started designing games that it finally clicked for me. After I had that realization, I also switched to a new job and low and behold, with my new positive outlook, I started getting promoted.
So what was it that changed it for me? What helped me understand that it was okay if others had more success than me? It took me figuring out that it wasn’t actually the success of others that made me jealous.
You see, the whole time I thought that it was the success and the recognition that I sought. And sure, those things are awesome but they are really just an end result. What I came to realize was that all of those things were just a validation that my actual abilities were good enough.
It all came down to a simple belief that I would never be as good as the others. It wasn’t about their success, it was about my self worth. That realization is perfectly summed up in the quote from The Lego Movie that started this article.
“You are the most talented, most interesting, and most extraordinary person in the universe. And you are capable of amazing things…And so am I. And so is everyone.”
Everyone in this life has their own unique perspective and that makes them extraordinary. Another term for it is Unique Value Proposition. It’s the thing that you bring to the table that no one else possibly can because they are not you. Dr. Seuss sums it up perfectly when he teaches us that no one is more you than you.
Do you know what your Unique Value Proposition is? Sometimes it can be a fickle thing to figure out. If you’d like some assistance in that, please feel free to drop me a line at jason@yourturncoach.com and I can help you out!
Until then, keep being you!
-Jason