Maybe You're The Villain
“I'm bad, and that's good! I will never be good, and that's not bad!” Ralph, as played by John C. Reilly, Wreck-It Ralph
Not too long ago I read a quote that basically said, “We are all the villain in someone else’s story” and I found the idea really hard to shake. We spend our lives mostly seeing the world from our own perspective. That makes it hard for your average person, who feels like they are doing good in the world, to see themselves as the anything but the hero.
Yet it’s true. You are a the villain to someone else. I’m not saying that it’s fair to be cast in the role of villain. It’s just a fact. Maybe you got the job over someone else at work and they really feel like you’ve ruined their aspirations. Some people will move on but others may hold on to that grudge for years.
While I have never previously thought much about the idea of being the villain in someone’s story, it does hearken back to something I have been saying for a long time. I once had someone tell me that they really wanted everyone at their job to like them. I responded by pointing out that if everyone likes you, then you probably aren’t doing a very good job.
Before you write me off as being too harsh, let me explain…
At every company you work at and in every group you belong to, there will likely be people who aren’t there to contribute, they are there only to takeaway. At a job, those people tend to be the ones who have the goal of doing as little as possible to collect their paycheck. Even when that means that others have to work harder to cover for their lack of care.
If you’re someone who gladly picks up the slack of those people, then they will undoubtedbly like you. You may even be their hero. But if you find yourself as their boss, things will likely turn out different. Being a good leader means you aren’t really able to ignore those negative behaviors — but that could in turn mean that those people may very well see you as the villain.
Other times, it might be that you are doing the right thing and the other person doesn’t agree with you. Here’s an example from many years ago. I was working on a project, trying to increase customer’s satisfaction and also drive more positive customer behavior. Through some research, I found that by eliminating some specific fees, I could encourage the customers to have better habits. As a side benefit, it would reduce the amount of calls that came into the call center and in turn would lower the overall cost to the company even though we were eliminating fees. Win win, right? Who could possibly be upset with that?
I’ll tell you who— the department head that collected all the revenue from those fees. They called me and read me the riot act. First, they asked me nicely to stop pursuing the project. I politely refused, citing the overall benefit to the customers and the company. They stopped being polite and got pretty angry and explained to me that this would hurt their department’s goals and therefore the bonuses of that team.
I’m pretty confident that the department head told the entire team that I was the bad guy and I was stealing their money. Of course, that wasn’t true. In fact, in the eyes of the executives, I was the hero. While I wasn’t a fan of the side eye that I received from former friends in the department, I still knew that I was indeed doing the right thing.
What this all boils down to is that in your life you will absolutely be cast as the villain. In fact, there’s a good chance it will happen so many time that you may even lose count. As long as you are pursuing what’s right and what is good, then it’s okay. I’d even argue that in many cases you should celebrate being the villain.
One final thought here: Make sure that whenever possible, you take the time to try and find some common ground with those who think you are the villain. While you may fail at helping them understand where you are coming from, I believe it is always better to attempt to have meaningful communication.
Who knows, even if they refuse to see you as the hero, they still might be willing to stop seeing you as a villain and instead see you as someone who simply holds different views. That’s still an upgrade.
Now get out there like Wreck-It Ralph and embrace your villainous side — for good!
-Jason