The Alpha Player Problem
“Look at me. I’m the captain now.” Muse, as played by Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
Several years ago, I found myself sitting at a board game convention playing a new game prototype I had been working on. It was a first playtest and I went into it really hoping that the game would be awesome. It was a cooperative game, which means we were all on the same team, striving for the same goal.
The other players were three friends of mine and I was super excited to try this game with them. As we got further into the game, I started noticing that the other players weren’t always choosing the most optimal moves for their characters. I really wanted to see us win this game. So I started trying to help.
When another player would announce their move, I’d say things like, “You know, if you did this other move instead, it would help the team.” Then I would explain why my idea was better. And let me be clear. My strategy was objectively better. I have played strategy games for years and I have become pretty darn good at them. Not to mention that I actually designed this game. Soon players started their turns saying things like, “I propose these actions for my character.” Sometimes I would agree and other times I would provide “helpful suggestions” on what might be better.
I had become what we call in the board game industry, the alpha player. My actions could further have been described by a term we use called quarterbacking. It’s a common problem that we see in some cooperative board games. One player believes they know best and they just sort of take over for everyone else. For the record, even if they do know what is best, this player is a jerk. And by that I am not saying they are a bad person or have bad intentions. Speaking for myself, I had very good intentions in the game. I wanted to help us succeed. But it didn’t matter what my intentions were because my actions were controlling, and frankly they took the fun out of the game for everyone else.
Alpha players aren’t just a problem in board games. We’ve all worked for a boss that had to control everything. We’ve all had a teammate that always knew best and wanted their ideas over the ideas of anyone else. Or that friend who always has to pick the restaurant that you eat at together. Just like in board games, not all alpha players in business and life are bad people. You may even find that like me, sometimes you struggle to not be an alpha player.
Now, as I sit here typing, my plan was to tell you how to not be the alpha player even when tempted. I was going to devise some awesome strategies on how to avoid being that person. Yet I find myself struggling a lot with it. I keep thinking that if I am sitting in a cooperative game and someone is about to make a move that’s going to be really bad for the team and we will likely lose, then I want to say something. Maybe when it’s do or die, it’s okay to interject. But then as I think further, I think that every subpar move another player takes really pushes us towards losing— so where does it end?
After thinking on it for a bit, I realized exactly what the issue was… I was focusing solely on winning. Sure, that’s the goal of the game and that’s important but it’s not the purpose of the game. No, the first purpose of the game is have a fun experience. The second purpose of a cooperative game is that everyone contributes. If they don’t, then you might as well be playing a solo game.
Now I am ready to tackle how to apply this idea to your work life or even your home life but I want to do that through the lens of a board game designer. As designers, we try to deal with the alpha player problems in several different ways as part of creating the game. My favorite way is through hidden information. Which means that as a player, you will have knowledge that other players do not have. So when it’s your turn, other players may assume they know what your best move is but because they don’t have all of the same information as you, they can’t be sure. This makes it harder for an alpha player to take over.
The core reason behind why that works is because it takes away the alpha player’s sense that they know more than you. In my mind, this perfectly aligns with how to stop yourself from being tempted to be the alpha player in your work and home life. In those situations, it’s safe to say that other people will always have some sort of knowledge and experiences that you don’t understand. While you may be the most knowledgeable person in the room for the matter at hand, that doesn’t mean that given the chance, the others won’t have meaningful input.
What it really comes down to is to simply listen to those around you. Don’t speak first, don’t speak second, speak last and while others are speaking don’t think about your response. Don’t analyze what they are getting wrong. Just listen to their words and ideas. As I type this, I know that this is feedback that I need to take in wholeheartedly for myself.
While I am a good listener, I tend to analyze things as people are speaking and many times seek to find holes in their logic. It’s not meant to be rude. It’s not meant to be mean. But when I do it, I am still being kind of a jerk and that’s something that I try and avoid. I’m committing to not being the alpha player in games and in life. I hope you are willing to commit to that as well.
Before we’re done here, I feel like I should give you an idea on how to handle dealing with other people being alpha players. This task is a bit more daunting because for some people, being the alpha is so ingrained in their mindset that it can be tough to shake.
But I think it’s still worth trying. So my suggestion is that whenever possible, you stand up for your choices. Push back in a kind manner and don’t just let the other person be the alpha player in your relationship. Whether it’s business or personal, I believe it’s worth it to not let someone else be the alpha player in your game of life.
-Jason