I Just Wanted to Clean Up The Kitchen
“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.” Jack Sparrow, as played by Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean
One of my least favorite things at home is when I am cleaning up after dinner, and I’m ready to put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, only to realize that the dishwasher is full of clean dishes. That of course means I have to put away all of the clean dishes before I can load the dirty dishes. It drives me crazy — just ask my wife because she’ll gladly tell you that I complain about it a lot.
What’s funny is that I don’t actually mind emptying the clean dishes from the dishwasher. In fact, I find it kind of Zen. Same goes for loading dirty dishes into the dishwasher. I actually enjoy the accomplishment of cleaning up and seeing how nice everything looks afterward.
So why then do I get so annoyed when I have to do both at the same time? Because in that moment, my plan was to clean up the dirty dishes. But then I am hit with the realization that I cannot do that until I do another step. In short, something is blocking me from accomplishing my immediate goal and I hate it.
Yet, what goal in life comes without roadblocks in the way or extra steps we have to take to get it done? Spoiler alert: None.
When it comes to cleaning up my kitchen, I can’t just give up because an extra step presented itself. I guess I could do that, but eventually I’d run out of paper plates and plastic silverware. The real problem here is that when we are presented with unforeseen extra steps to attain our personal goals, we many times just put those goals aside. This can even happen with goals that we are very passionate about.
As I mentioned in a previous blog, sometimes roadblocks can be a blessing because they make us think differently. Today, I am talking about the dark side of roadblocks. Where they convince you to say, I’ll get to that later. So what is the difference between roadblocks making us push harder on goals or just giving up instead? So glad you asked…
In a word, accountability. In our lives we live by deadlines. Most work projects have some sort of deadline that forces us to clear roadblocks in a timely manner. The deadline doesn’t allow us to just abandon our goal because in the end, someone is going to hold us accountable. With our personal goals, that doesn’t always happen. I’d argue it’s rare. Why not? Simple, our personal goals are just that… Personal and we tend to keep them to ourselves.
You might be thinking that you are always telling people about your personal goals.
“I’m going to exercise more.”
“I’m going to write a novel.”
“I’m going to start my own business.”
We may tell people our goals, especially in the form of things like, New Year’s Resolutions or chatting over drinks. The problem is, we are taught that resolutions fail and that talking over drinks is a time when meaningless promise are made. And both of those things can be true.
What helps is putting a goal out there and asking for others to hold you accountable to that goal. Putting deadlines on the goals to help solidify them further. Maybe for you that means asking a good friend to keep checking in with you on the goal. Or putting it out on social media and then forcing yourself to provide updates.
All three of the goals that I mentioned above are actual goals that I have been saying for years to no avail. Last year, I decided to get serious about exercising. I set a goal of walking 2018 miles in 2018. I knew that if I put it on Facebook and then promised to provide an update at the end of the year, it would motivate me. That extra pressure helped me figure out how many miles I needed to walk per day and stick to it. At the end of the year, I was able to report that I had exceeded my goal. It felt really good to do that and people were incredibly supportive about it all. So I put the challenge out there again, this time for 2500 in 2019. At the end of January, I am already well on track to exceed my goal again.
All it took was putting it out there in a way that I knew would drive me to success. There were certainly roadblocks. Days where I didn’t feel well or was short on time to walk, but I did it nonetheless because I wanted to ensure that I made that goal.
I started a business last year not just because the timing was right. It certainly was perfect timing for my family, but it was actually my wife who said I should take the plunge when I did. Why? Because she knew from our conversations how important to me it was. She wasn’t just being supportive, she was holding me accountable to my goals and dreams. She still continues to hold me accountable to new business goals that I set for myself.
For that last goal of writing a novel, I am putting it out there in this blog that by the end of 2019, I will have my novel completed and ready for publication. There, it’s in writing and I am now committed.
Back to your goals. There will be roadblocks. Potentially loads of them, but you can push through. Here’s a list to get you started:
Write down your top three personal goals.
Determine a realistic deadline for each.
Pick three different people/groups to hold you accountable for one goal.
Set a cadence for how often you will check in with your accountability team.
Keep at it and push through the roadblocks.
Once you achieve a goal, add a new goal to replace it.
The last piece of advice that I want to give you is to ensure you are being realistic about your deadlines. It can be a struggle to not set them too short. If you find yourself in a position where you honestly can’t make the deadline because you didn’t allow enough time, talk to your accountability team and set a new deadline. Just consider it another roadblock and move on.
I think you’ll find these steps can make achieving goals much more likely.
-Jason